From her contagious smile to her heartfelt stories, it’s impossible to listen to Dr. Farah talk about her relationships and not feel inspired. We want every educator to feel the joy of meaningful student-teacher relationships like Dr. Farah, so we asked her to share how she has both facilitated and maintained relationships with her students throughout her career.
Dr. Farah is no stranger to the Jostens Renaissance scene. Not only is she the Renaissance Champion for the Sierra Nevada Region but she’s also featured in a touching Courageous Conversations episode on the topic at hand — relationships. Most recently (and deservingly!), Dr. Farah was inducted into the Jostens Hall of Fame during the 2023 Jostens Renaissance Global Conference.
Dr. Farah poses with Dr. Phil Campbell, Valerie Vera-Mineer, Mike Wolf and Michael Burgess at her induction into the Jostens Renaissance® Hall of Fame.
Relationships: The Foundation of Every Great School
In a Q&A with the Renaissance team, Dr. Farah beamed at the opportunity to share why relationships matter most with the Renaissance community, “I’m honored to do this. I love Jostens and everything that your company is about. I think Renaissance gives students the memories and moments they’ll cherish forever — it’s what sets Jostens apart.”
Can you describe the importance of building student-teacher relationships?
Everything you do as an educator begins and ends with relationships. Often educators want to jump right into the rules, passing out the syllabus and starting their lessons — but if you do those things immediately, the classroom will suffer. You have to build relationships first. If you don’t have a relationship with your students, you’re going to miss out on fully reaching them. You can teach them the content, but if you want to reach their heart, the relationship has to be there. That’s why it’s something that I build into my classroom. One thing that we do is Family Fridays; every Friday we pause, we play and we bond. You can see the students growing over the year to where our school is no longer just four walls — it’s their second home. When students see their teachers in a different light, not just the math or science teacher but as another human having a great time, it changes things for them.
You can see the students growing over the year to where our school is no longer just four walls — it’s their second home.
Where would you recommend teachers start building relationships with their students?
Start with the little things. We’re taught as educators to have two separate lives — our teacher life, and then who we are as a human. Even sharing a little bit, to let them see you as a person, is where it begins. As I said, we do Family Fridays in my classroom, but it doesn’t always have to be the same. Sometimes we do a Failure Friday, where we get in a big circle and everybody shares a failure of the week. I believe that we lead by example, so I go first to show them that a teacher can make a mistake, too. It could also be something as simple as starting class with a question or a check-in. But it’s not just checking in on the kids, it’s also you as the educator sharing a little bit of yourself with them. As you slowly do those things they’ll start looking at you differently. Another recommendation is to simply show up. Show up in the moments when they need you, including the moments when they’re least expecting you. For some kids, you might be that stand-in adult in their life. When they see you outside of school at one of their events, games, performances, concerts or competitions, and their faces light up as they run up to hug you, that’s everything. When you show up, they realize you’re going to be there for them.
What are the benefits of creating student-teacher relationships inside and outside of school?
We can’t look at students for just the period that you’re in the classroom with them. The moment students walk into my classroom, I call them my kids and teach them like they’re my children. One year, the kids gave me the nickname schmom (SH-mom), which means school mom. It’s important to have those relationships for two reasons: one, kids learn from people that they love. There’s a quote by John C. Maxwell that says, “students don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care,” and I firmly believe that. We have to build a relationship before we can get to the content, before they can truly learn from us. Two, if we don’t build those relationships, kids aren’t going to come to you when they need you and we could be missing teachable moments. I don’t think teachable moments have to be a core content area explained from the front of the classroom. A teachable moment, in my opinion, is something that helps build these beautiful human beings that are going to change the world.
How do you maintain your relationships with students after they leave your classroom?
One of the things I tell my students when they leave my middle school is that they’re always welcome back. I let them know that my classroom is their home. I don’t want them to think that on the last day of school, it’s over here. They can always come back. So, when we do our leadership trainings or school dances, I ask for volunteers. I also tell my students when they turn 18 and they’ve graduated from high school, they can find me on social media. It’s so funny because every year around June, I start getting all of these friend requests from kids who were 13 years old — now 18 years old and graduated — who remember to friend me on Facebook. When I get invited to baby showers and weddings, I thank them for allowing me to be a part of their life while they were a student, and for continuing to allow me to be part of their life as an adult. Let them know that the connection with you doesn’t end on the last day of school.
It’s letting them know that the connection with you doesn’t end on the last day of school.
How do you approach student-teacher relationships with students who aren’t in your classroom?
Being visible is the biggest thing. I try to go out of my way to be visible on campus whether that’s walking around at lunch to say hi or finding ways to pop into classrooms to give out awards. I also leave my room open during lunch as a safe place where kids can come eat — we call it home base. It’s always making yourself available and letting kids know that you’re someone they can go to.
Is there anything you suggest teachers should and/or shouldn’t do?
I think work-life balance is the biggest thing. Finding that balance and taking care of yourself as an educator can be hard when you’re someone who devotes so much of your time to students. Jostens Renaissance Hall of Famer, and one of my mentors, Valerie Vera-Mineer always asks, “what did you do to fill your cup today?” So, while I think that it’s important that we show up for the kids and build those relationships, you have to pause and remember that if you’re not taking care of yourself, you’ll have nothing to pour into the kids.
If you’re not taking care of yourself, you’ll have nothing to pour into the kids.
What factors make building relationships with students challenging? How do you overcome them?
One of the biggest factors is the fear of educators being vulnerable. We’re taught to be very professional and not to share anything personal. I think that we’re adult enough to understand the boundaries and show empathy as an educator. We’re afraid to break that wall and keep it professional, but I think part of being a professional is to make sure students are as successful as they can be. If it means connecting with them on a different level, that’s still appropriate. We not only need to be okay with that, but we should also normalize it. We can’t be afraid to build relationships.
How does your school help facilitate student-teacher relationships?
I can’t tell you how important it is to have an administration that supports the constant improvement of school culture. It starts with administration, and then it’s easing into the rest of the staff. Whether it’s building relationships at staff meetings with ice breakers or mindful moments, my school tries to inspire our teachers with ideas for their classrooms. It’s also important for schools to have some structures in place that foster relationships. I’ll give you an example: every month educators on our campus can nominate a student to receive a High-Five Award. When I say educator, I want to make it very clear that it’s not just a teacher — it’s every adult who has an impact on a kid’s life. That’s why we use the Renaissance term Staffulty
, because it represents both staff and faculty. Whether it’s a custodian, librarian or office staff, everyone has the same ability. A High-Five Award is for a student who may not be the top academic student in the class, but they’re making an effort. We have the nominating teacher present their certificate in front of the classroom to make it more personal. When that specific teacher can call up that student and share the reasons why they were nominated, it gives them a special moment and connection.
How has Jostens Renaissance helped you build relationships?
When it comes to relationships and Renaissance, it’s everything. I don’t think I knew how much I would need the relationships I have with other Renaissance educators. Whether it’s joining them at the Jostens Renaissance Global Conference or checking in on each other during Happy R virtual get-togethers, seek out the people that you want to emulate as an educator. Jostens Renaissance educators are different kinds of educators, so I think it’s huge to constantly maintain a relationship with those who have a similar outlook and vision — your people! One of the other things I’ve taken away from Jostens is pausing to recognize your Staffulty. Don’t forget about the relationships with your staff members. Let them know they are seen, valued, appreciated and empowered, so they can go out and build relationships with their students
Dr. Farah Ortega-Choate with her 2022-2023 Renaissance Leadership Class at La Quinta Middle School in California.
Relationships are key to building a strong school culture and climate. Renaissance makes these lasting student-teacher relationships possible by celebrating, recognizing and rewarding each other. In fact, stories of connection, love and gratitude between students and Staffulty are often the first things veteran Renaissance administrators share with educators new to Renaissance. Kids will work much harder if they’re being recognized and rewarded. In my opinion, the number one reason why you get the positive results on your campus is because of the relationships. Once you have them, everything else falls into place.
The number one reason why you get positive results on your campus is because of the relationships. Once you have them, everything else falls into place.
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